Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Upgrade/Downgrade: IT Guy


My email this morning:


Good morning, IT Guy.

C’s computer will not power on. It’s just making a sound like it’s trying to, but nothing happens. Can you please help us out with this? She’s using J’s computer in the meantime.

Thank you.

His response:

First thing to check are the basic things
Is the monitor on and set to the correct input

Is the monitoir cable securely plugged into the back of the computer
Is the monitor cable securely plugged into the back of the monitor
Does the pc make a beeping sound when it tries to turn on

If none of that works then try to replace the monitor .
Let me know
IT Guy

Let me break this down for you.

First thing to check are the basic things
Is the monitor on and set to the correct input

Uh...seriously? Is the monitor on? Have I never used a computer before? Am I a complete idiot?


Is the monitoir cable securely plugged into the back of the computer

What's a monitoir? Like a minotaur?


Sorry, but I'm not checking the minotaur's cable. He scares me.

Or is a monitoir a fancy French monitor? Maybe the computer's not working because it's busy eating crepes and smoking cigarettes while adjusting its beret?

Is the monitor cable securely plugged into the back of the monitor

Listen. If I've checked to make sure the machine is on, I've also checked to make sure all plugs are secure. I'm not your great-grandma. I grew up with computers. These troubleshooting suggestions are just offensive.

Does the pc make a beeping sound when it tries to turn on

Nope. I should have been more clear here, but I knew whatever sound description I gave you wouldn't come across correctly. It's like a buzzing/struggling sound. It's like the computer equivalent of me trying to run a mile. 

If none of that works then try to replace the monitor .
Let me know
IT Guy

Oh, sweet baby Jesus! It's not the monitor. The computer is the problem, not the monitor. The monitor is happy as can be. If my car's engine isn't starting, do I replace the headlights? Is that a solution, IT Guy?

Downgrade, IT Guy.

2 comments:

  1. Super duper DOWNGRADE! The Markleys would not be pleased at IT Guy's lack of sense. We should inform him of a great new site called vasectomy.com to ensure that he never spawns idiot IT babies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good call on vasectomy.com. I think he already has a few Useless IT Guys in training, though.

      Delete