Friday, December 23, 2011

Parenting Advice from a Non-Parent

Rule #1 when I'm a mom will be not to break my kids down. There are enough other people and situations in the world that will do that.

I want my kids to think they're good at everything and, equally importantly, that I think they're good at everything.

I've mostly lost my voice due to this nasty cold and what's left of it would best be described...hmm...imagine that a baritone and a frog had a baby and he loved to sing? Like that.

While butchering Christmas songs this morning (due to my cold, mind you, not my normal, lovely singing voice), I was lamenting to my mom that I wouldn't be able to sing carols this year. I proposed that maybe I could be the Christmas whistler. After a quick audition, she said that perhaps I'd be more suited for the bells or accordion.

Now, this was all in jest, of course.

But why not lift your kids (even if they're adults) right on up? Fill those self-esteem buckets to the brim.For whatever reason, kids still look to their parents for approval, whether they're 2 or 32.

Your kid stinks at baseball. Practice with them in the backyard.

Your ballerina isn't graceful. Applaud after every living room performance.

Your little poet can't rhyme. Hang those poems on the fridge.

Your Christmas whistler can't carry a tune. Let her whistle in your fictional caroling scenario, for crying out loud.

Who ever heard of a Christmas carol accordion player anyway?

Monday, December 19, 2011

BragFest 2k11

Want to know how busy my weekend was? I'll tell ya! This is my Saturday afternoon post. But, wait. It's Monday at noon, you say?


And now we begin the BragFest. Guess what I did Saturday morning! All before 11:30 am! I ran walked mostly ran a 5K. My very first! Exclamation!

That there's my sexy race shirt. Did I actually raise any money for Habitat for Humanity? No. I signed up for the race to try to motivate myself to train. Did I train? No. This isn't the first time I've tried this type of coercion on my laziness , but this is the first I've actually gone through with the race and the end of the failed training attempt.

First 5K: 38:13. Not tooooo shabby with no training, right? Right?

Guess what else I got in my race goody bag?

 A blood blister. Hot.

After the race, I drove my butt home to make some breakfast. I was craving some breakfast sausage, but had none, so I made the most aesthetically displeasing lumps of meat I've ever seen.

Know what? They also didn't taste so good. I need a little more spice in my sausage. (That's what she said) Ah well. allrecipes can't always be right.

You know when they are right? When I need some meat-a-balls and they lead me to heaven, or as the case may be, Meatball Nirvana.

These bad boys...oh lord, you guys...these are delicious. The flavor is spot-on and the texture is light. I made some of Papa Russ's World Famous Marinara Sauce to accompany them, but then realized I had no pasta nor did I even have a roll to throw everything on.

Woe is me. Such is the life of an ill-prepared cook.

I took a nap to cope.

Hope you all had as fulfilling a Saturday as I.

Friday, December 16, 2011

A Couple Questions

Why will Words with Friends not allow me to spell Luda like this?

It's called language, WWF. It evolves. Keep up.

And another thing:

Please explain to me how my bed, which is always right up against the wall, ended up like this sometime in the night.

Please do keep your minds out of the gutter.