Monday, November 14, 2011

Ok, Universe. I get it.

I'm meant to be unhealthy and lumpy.

The Universe commands it.

See, I'm on a fitness kick thanks to Candice and fitocracy. I've been, for the first time EVER, working out regularly and actually pushing myself.

The Universe gave me a gentle hint last week when two girls walked into the dinky gym in my complex ahead of me. They proceeded to plop themselves unceremoniously on the last two machines. One of those was supposed to be mine! Do you know what they did then? I'll tell you. They sat there and talked, their legs barely moving. Who are these people? I did some weights in the meantime, realized no one was giving up a machine any time soon, and began a quick walk back home. I consider that quarter mile my cardio for the day.

I brazenly ignored that subtle hint, though, and hiked on both Wednesday and Saturday last week. I do what I want, Universe! I've been a bit sore, but was ready to get back into the game today until the Universe decided to BREAK ME!

I was nesting last night. Like vacuum under the bed, rearrange the furniture, put unwanted clothes in a bag for the thrift store levels of nesting. When I was done, I thought I'd attack the kitchen while I was at it. I opened the dishwasher to throw some dirties in and then, being the multi-tasker that I am decided to start the baked oatmeal I had planned for breakfast. I went to my room to grab the ol' laptop and, as I walked back to the kitchen, I began to search for the recipe. Multi-tasking! Woot!

Let me recap for you.

Holding a laptop.

Searching for a recipe.

Eyes on the screen.

Walking into the kitchen.

Now I'm going to need you to picture this last part in slow motion.

I walk full speed into the open dishwasher door. I manage to hit it with both shins simultaneously. I begin to fly (no joke) over the door. In that instant, my laptop was worth more than my life because I hold it up in the air as I come crashing down to the ground. In that last moment before the collision, I managed to turn so I wouldn't land on my face.

Good news: laptop & face are fine!

Bad news: my ass is broken.

I caught a lot of air as I sailed over the dishwasher door and all that weight came down on my right cheek. I could not sleep on that side last night. I can not sit on it today. It's such a deep injury that there's not even a bruise yet (but, lord, there are some nasties on my shins).

In any case, it didn't work. I'm still doing Miramar Lake's five miles today.

I'm not sure I'm ready for what the Universe has in store for me next. Wish me luck!

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