Questionable Decisions I Made During Last Night's Date

Telling him that even numbers are skeevy and that the volume always needs to be on an odd number, even if 24 or 26 sound better.

Explaining that I am conditioning myself to stop cracking my jaw by snapping the rubber band on my wrist every time I do it. That's why all those red marks are there.

Sharing that my iPhone is having difficulty with directions right now because it is stuck in the state of Texas. I used it to figure out how far it is from Dallas to Dillon, which, it turns out, is a fictional town. Why was I searching for this information? To see how long the bus ride would be for the Panthers on their way to the state championship.

Giving him an impromptu cooking lesson in creating the perfect over easy egg. Yes, I actually cooked an egg. On a date. A person should know how to cook an egg, right?

Remind me again why I'm single.

Single Woman Facts

I'm stealing from my own Tumblr here. There are some things I want to move over in an effort to keep everything tidy in one place.

I was told the other day that one of the worst things you can say to a single woman (for the record, I find it extremely insulting that people feel the need to share random “single woman facts” with a single woman) is that she’s too pretty to have not yet found a man.

This was followed up with a, “You just haven’t found the right one yet.”

Ok. First of all, I didn’t start this conversation and I need no validation for my choices.

Secondly, and most importantly, if I still have certain doubts about being in a relationship:

1) Is he going to be sleeping in my bed every night?

2) Do I have to share my almond butter?

3) Will he be adding his books to my bookcase?

Then I don’t need to be pursuing a relationship with anyone.

It doesn’t matter how pretty I am, or how funny, or how intelligent. If I’m not willing to share my space, I think it logically follows that I won’t be able to share my life.

The Dating Game

It's been made clear by past experience that I'm not great at the whole dating thing. I end up uninterested very quickly and I handle things badly.

After a lot of thought, though, I think the problem was that I was lacking focus. I didn't know what I wanted from dating. It seems odd to have a "dating purpose", but I do need one. I didn't know what I wanted from these poor guys, I just knew I wasn't getting it. I ended up frustrated that they weren't meeting any expectations when the expectations were just smoky ideas.

The horrible offenses of the last round of fellows I dated:

*he asked the same questions more than once (Granted, they were sort of big deal questions, like: How would you feel about being a stay-at-home mom? You'd think he'd remember my response to something like that the first time, right?)

*he stuck his tongue out as he was coming in for a kiss. Gross.

*he made me watch Avatar.

*he was super late & didn't apologize. Then we were late for dinner, then late for a comedy show. Have you ever walked into a comedy show after it started? Walking in late makes you a target.

I suppose there's nothing exceptionally deal breaker-y about any of that, but it becomes an issue when you don't know what you want from someone. All I could see was what he didn't have. I couldn't match him up to what he should have because I didn't know what that was.

I doubt any of these guys had what I'm looking for, but if I'd known what I'd wanted from them, I may have seen that although they had some deficiencies, they may have had a lot to offer as well.

So. New plan.

In dating, and in life, I need to be both very aware and very vocal about what I want.

This is what I want from dating:

1. Someone to do stuff with. How's that for vague? I want someone to hike with, visit museums with, go to food festivals with.

2. Someone who makes me better. I need to feel like I'm constantly improving and it'd be great to have someone around who inspires me to do so.

3. Someone I can count on. I need some loyalty and reliability.

4. A friend. That wants to make out. And have lots of sex.

5. Some space. I don't need someone up in my beeswax all the time. I don't know where the happy middle ground between getting attention and getting alone time is, but that's what I need.

That's what I have so far.

With that, I'm back in the game.