Will:
*allow me to be outdoors occasionally
*provide me with a minimum of one capable coworker
*not violently suck my soul from my body the moment I walk in
*challenge me in my brain
*involve little to no micro-managing
*insist that I dress like a grown lady
Monday, June 6, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
What Utaught (or What I Learned in Utah)
Utaught? Utah-t? Wordplay comprehensiveness currently escapes me.
I just returned from a glorious vacation in Utah. Most of my time was spent hiking and breathing deeply and generally absorbing nature.
I also learned quite a bit and I'd like to share these lessons with you.
1. One may hand-feed a squirrel Cheez-its, but one may face dire consequences if said squirrel likes the taste of human. I was not bitten. My squirrel was friendly. Yet there are graphic pictures in Zion on shuttles and in newspapers that prove that someone's been bitten at some point. Maybe they just didn't have the proper squirrel feeding technique down.
2. It is illegal to feed squirrels Cheez-its.
3. Some squirrels are cannibals. Or very romantic. I saw a squirrel carrying another lifeless squirrel in its mouth. I believe that squirrel A was taking squirrel B to a private spot so the snacking could begin. Dylan thinks squirrel A happened upon his dead wife's body when he arrived home and was bringing her back to their favorite place so that could be her final resting spot.
4. The Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling" is played entirely too much on entirely too many stations.
5. Some stations, bless them, play hour upon hour of Aerosmith.
6. Dylan & I can name all 50 states and a great number of countries in the world.
7. I need to brush up on my cities in Ohio knowledge.
8. I may not be as clumsy as I once was. Yes, I fell 3 times in four days, but that's a new low. Especially considering the physicality of the trip.
8a. Flip flops + steep decline + loose sand = tent stake in the thigh. I was not impaled. I hit the blunt end. No big.
8b. When one climbs up a rock, one must consider the path that will be taken to get back down.
9. It rains it Utah. A lot. Unexpectedly.
10. It takes 875 crumpled Reader pages to start a fire.
11. Carrie Underwood is a terrible role model.
12. When one goes camping, one should bring towels.
12a. The definition of clean is different when camping.
13. People are inconsiderate.
13a. When there is a two foot wide path to walk along on the side of a rock face, you do not force people to pass on the cliff side.
13b. When generous, kind-hearted folks allow you to pass on such paths, you do not STOP TO TAKE A PICTURE. There are people waiting to get by. Was that not clear? (Disregard that I stopped to take a picture, as evidence by the above photo.)
14. Fording a stream is easier with a partner to lean on.
15. Climbing up rocks is easier with a partner to lean on.
16. Climbing down rocks is easier with a partner to lean on.
17. Life is easier with a partner to lean on.
18. I need a new job. Being indoors is suffocating me.
19. There are stacked rocks all up in Utah.
20. Waterfalls are pretty.
21. This particular photographer takes an hour & 42 minutes to take a photo.
22. This log looks like an elephant, but I brought the wrong lens, so I would have had to back up about a mile to get an accurate photo. Just trust me. It looks like an elephant.
22a. My iPhone takes such good pictures I didn't really need to bring the Canon.
23. I do this a lot.
24. I am adventurous.
25. I am strong
26. I am capable.
27. I can't end this list on an even number.
If interested, the rest of the photos from this trip can be found here: https://picasaweb.google.com/dawnmariemedina/Utah5201152311?authkey=Gv1sRgCO_o9MiH3O24OQ#
I just returned from a glorious vacation in Utah. Most of my time was spent hiking and breathing deeply and generally absorbing nature.
I also learned quite a bit and I'd like to share these lessons with you.
1. One may hand-feed a squirrel Cheez-its, but one may face dire consequences if said squirrel likes the taste of human. I was not bitten. My squirrel was friendly. Yet there are graphic pictures in Zion on shuttles and in newspapers that prove that someone's been bitten at some point. Maybe they just didn't have the proper squirrel feeding technique down.
2. It is illegal to feed squirrels Cheez-its.
3. Some squirrels are cannibals. Or very romantic. I saw a squirrel carrying another lifeless squirrel in its mouth. I believe that squirrel A was taking squirrel B to a private spot so the snacking could begin. Dylan thinks squirrel A happened upon his dead wife's body when he arrived home and was bringing her back to their favorite place so that could be her final resting spot.
4. The Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling" is played entirely too much on entirely too many stations.
5. Some stations, bless them, play hour upon hour of Aerosmith.
6. Dylan & I can name all 50 states and a great number of countries in the world.
7. I need to brush up on my cities in Ohio knowledge.
8. I may not be as clumsy as I once was. Yes, I fell 3 times in four days, but that's a new low. Especially considering the physicality of the trip.
8a. Flip flops + steep decline + loose sand = tent stake in the thigh. I was not impaled. I hit the blunt end. No big.
8b. When one climbs up a rock, one must consider the path that will be taken to get back down.
9. It rains it Utah. A lot. Unexpectedly.
10. It takes 875 crumpled Reader pages to start a fire.
11. Carrie Underwood is a terrible role model.
12. When one goes camping, one should bring towels.
12a. The definition of clean is different when camping.
13. People are inconsiderate.
13a. When there is a two foot wide path to walk along on the side of a rock face, you do not force people to pass on the cliff side.
13b. When generous, kind-hearted folks allow you to pass on such paths, you do not STOP TO TAKE A PICTURE. There are people waiting to get by. Was that not clear? (Disregard that I stopped to take a picture, as evidence by the above photo.)
14. Fording a stream is easier with a partner to lean on.
15. Climbing up rocks is easier with a partner to lean on.
16. Climbing down rocks is easier with a partner to lean on.
17. Life is easier with a partner to lean on.
18. I need a new job. Being indoors is suffocating me.
19. There are stacked rocks all up in Utah.
20. Waterfalls are pretty.
21. This particular photographer takes an hour & 42 minutes to take a photo.
22. This log looks like an elephant, but I brought the wrong lens, so I would have had to back up about a mile to get an accurate photo. Just trust me. It looks like an elephant.
22a. My iPhone takes such good pictures I didn't really need to bring the Canon.
23. I do this a lot.
24. I am adventurous.
25. I am strong
26. I am capable.
27. I can't end this list on an even number.
If interested, the rest of the photos from this trip can be found here: https://picasaweb.google.com/dawnmariemedina/Utah5201152311?authkey=Gv1sRgCO_o9MiH3O24OQ#
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Health Karma
Friday night, I drank myself stupid. No exaggeration. I had a major hissy fit in a public place.
Saturday night, I had a couple beers. And shots of tequila. And participated in five games of beer pong, so there's that.
I did no physical activity of any kind over the weekend. (Does a hissy fit count?)
Yesterday, to get back on track, I had a beef & green chili chimichanga for breakfast & spicy chicken noodle soup for lunch. It seems I wanted to make sure I didn't hit any important food groups.
Today, I went to the gym before work to meet with my personal trainer. Back on track for realsies this time.
But health karma wasn't having it. Health karma was all, "Your effort's commendable, but it looks like you forgot to pack a bra with your work outfit today. Have fun wearing a sports bra all day!"
Sports bra = zero nipple coverage
I'm sure the 40 guys I work with won't notice.
Right?
...
Right?
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Iron Mountain
I made it to the peak of Iron Mountain on Sunday. No big deal. Actually, you know what? It's a huge fricking deal. Susan & I tried twice before and collapsed just after mile one. I finished all three miles &, although I felt as if I were dying several times, I finished.
Go me!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Lesson Learned
I thought it would be a good decision to skip coffee yesterday. I put about a gallon of cream in each cup I have & I know that's tons of fat and sugar. Not to mention, amaretto cream is clearly a processed food, of which I'm trying to limit intake. Other options are black coffee, black coffee with sugar, or coffee with milk. I should really do some research on just how terrible milk is for me. I refuse to do the whole skim or 1 % crap here because it just doesn't taste right. To be frank, milk isn't my favorite choice for coffee.
There's just something about a flavored creamer. Italian Sweet Cream, Hazelnut, Amaretto, Irish Cream. Yum!
So. Back on track. No coffee for me yesterday. Which led to:
Breakfast:
fried noodles
everything bagel with cream cheese
Lunch:
rolled tacos with guacamole & cheese
rice
beans
Dinner:
chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels
Not the best choices I've ever made. I felt terrible (emotionally & physically) and was asleep by 6:00 pm.
It may be better to go ahead and have coffee with cream, rather than risk another day like yesterday.
There's just something about a flavored creamer. Italian Sweet Cream, Hazelnut, Amaretto, Irish Cream. Yum!
So. Back on track. No coffee for me yesterday. Which led to:
Breakfast:
fried noodles
everything bagel with cream cheese
Lunch:
rolled tacos with guacamole & cheese
rice
beans
Dinner:
chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels
Not the best choices I've ever made. I felt terrible (emotionally & physically) and was asleep by 6:00 pm.
It may be better to go ahead and have coffee with cream, rather than risk another day like yesterday.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Pavlov
I successfully conditioned myself with a rubber band last week.
Let me tell you, snapping your wrist is an effective way to break a bad habit. For as long as I can remember, I've been a jaw clencher. It's mostly a stress-induced issue. If that weren't bad enough, in recent years, I've developed a jaw-cracking tic. It's bad. It sounds gross, it's painful, and I'm sure it's all levels of bad for me to be doing. Enter the rubber band. Every time I cracked my jaw, I got an immediate wrist snap. The first day, the multitude of welts were so deeply red, they almost looked like cuts. The second day, I had some visible lines, but nothing that would cause anyone to direct me to a suicide counselor. By day three, the habit was kicked.
I'm now going to use this particular brand of torture to beat a bad trait out of me, which may be slightly more difficult than making a bad habit disappear.
I am a bitch. Them's just the facts. Most folks who incur my wrath deserve it. They bring it on themselves and have to deal with the consequences of, well, me being in a bad mood.
There's one exception.
The people I work with get all bitch all the time. And that's not fair. At the risk of sounding like an ingrate, I despise my job. I'm not sure that's accurate...I despise my day at work. I enjoy all aspects of my actual work, but when you throw in the babysitting, editing, and interrupting that I deal with on a half-hourly basis, frustration starts setting in. Frustration leads to anger and anger leads to hopelessness. That's when the bad starts, really. Not when I'm mad, but when I've given up. The Land of No Hope is where I live. The Land of No Hope is where I become Mean Dawn.
Mean For No Reason Dawn.
"Is this paper for us?"
"Uh, yeah! That's why I put it there!"
The people I work with are, on the whole, not very good at their jobs, due to lack of caring, ignorance, or laziness. But that shouldn't mean they have to pay for it by dealing with me. When they do their jobs poorly, and I'm left correcting their mistakes, they're not sending a message to me. This is not an I hate you, Dawn thing. Yet when I talk to people the way I tend to, I'm personally attacking. I'm mad and I think someone should pay.
I need to quit it. No one should have to deal with my attitude. Which brings us back to the rubber band.
Let's see how conditioning goes when we're trying not to break a habit, but to break an split-second response to years of irritation.
Wish me luck.
Let me tell you, snapping your wrist is an effective way to break a bad habit. For as long as I can remember, I've been a jaw clencher. It's mostly a stress-induced issue. If that weren't bad enough, in recent years, I've developed a jaw-cracking tic. It's bad. It sounds gross, it's painful, and I'm sure it's all levels of bad for me to be doing. Enter the rubber band. Every time I cracked my jaw, I got an immediate wrist snap. The first day, the multitude of welts were so deeply red, they almost looked like cuts. The second day, I had some visible lines, but nothing that would cause anyone to direct me to a suicide counselor. By day three, the habit was kicked.
I'm now going to use this particular brand of torture to beat a bad trait out of me, which may be slightly more difficult than making a bad habit disappear.
I am a bitch. Them's just the facts. Most folks who incur my wrath deserve it. They bring it on themselves and have to deal with the consequences of, well, me being in a bad mood.
There's one exception.
The people I work with get all bitch all the time. And that's not fair. At the risk of sounding like an ingrate, I despise my job. I'm not sure that's accurate...I despise my day at work. I enjoy all aspects of my actual work, but when you throw in the babysitting, editing, and interrupting that I deal with on a half-hourly basis, frustration starts setting in. Frustration leads to anger and anger leads to hopelessness. That's when the bad starts, really. Not when I'm mad, but when I've given up. The Land of No Hope is where I live. The Land of No Hope is where I become Mean Dawn.
Mean For No Reason Dawn.
"Is this paper for us?"
"Uh, yeah! That's why I put it there!"
The people I work with are, on the whole, not very good at their jobs, due to lack of caring, ignorance, or laziness. But that shouldn't mean they have to pay for it by dealing with me. When they do their jobs poorly, and I'm left correcting their mistakes, they're not sending a message to me. This is not an I hate you, Dawn thing. Yet when I talk to people the way I tend to, I'm personally attacking. I'm mad and I think someone should pay.
I need to quit it. No one should have to deal with my attitude. Which brings us back to the rubber band.
Let's see how conditioning goes when we're trying not to break a habit, but to break an split-second response to years of irritation.
Wish me luck.
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